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The Confidence of a White Man: A Discussion on Privilege in Pursuing Creative Pursuits Key takeaways:
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The speaker expresses confidence due to being a white man
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The confidence is built in due to privilege
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The speaker had family support for their creative pursuits
The speaker had a safety net due to their station in life
Speaker 1
Yes. I donāt know if you have noticed this, but Iām a white man. That is what gave me that confidence. I love that. Yeah.
Speaker 2
Sorry. Iām really unfamiliar with what youāre describing.
Speaker 1
It may be pixelated here, but I am a white man. The confidence is built in. You know, if I donāt have the confidence, itās my own damn fault. But also I was lucky enough to have a family who had encouraged me in my creative pursuits. And so I thought, well, whatās the worst that can happen? You know, I donāt write 30 minutes worth of good songs and the 10 people in the coffee shop donāt like what Iām doing. Fine. I can handle that. And the reason I felt that way is because I knew there were people who cared about me in the world. And also I knew that any amount of embarrassment that I felt would go away soon because I would have other opportunities just because of my station in life. You know, I didnāt have any money at the time. My parents didnāt have any money and their parents didnāt have any money. But we had a lot of encouragement and we had very little resistance and I did feel sort of cushioned in a certain way. Like, you know, this is not going to end terribly.-
The Truth About Addiction and Personal Responsibility Key takeaways:
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The speaker admits to being emotionally and psychologically aggressive in the past.
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The speaker wasnāt loyal to their first wife and broke promises.
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Addiction was a scapegoat for the speakerās actions, but not the actual cause.
A quote from a drive by trucker song is mentioned: āThe liquor donāt make you do the thing. It just lets you.ā
Speaker 1
And, and you know, I wasnāt like a physically aggressive person, but I can be emotionally and psychologically aggressive in a way that is very vicious and very harmful. I was just a mean bastard. I would say mean things to people and it would hurt their feelings. And you know, I wasnāt loyal to my first wife, I broke some promises and the bottom line, you know, you donāt do that. You donāt break promises. And, um, and I donāt want to say this is because I was an addict because it wasnāt. The truth is it wasnāt. It just, the addiction just gave me something else to blame for it. So, you know, addiction was a scapegoat for me because itās so easy to say, well, I did do these things because Iām drunk. People do it all the time now still in these half ass fake apologies online, you know, but thereās a line in one of the old drive by trucker songs that my friend Mike Cooley wrote. He says, the liquor donāt make you do the thing. It just lets you and I always loved that line. I love that. It just allows you to be the asshole that you wanted to be.
Speaker 2
Um, so, you know, you eventually leave the ban. I mean, folks ask you to leave for a break and then it becomes a law extended break and, um, and you keep drinking, right?-
The Role of Song Writing in Sobriety Key takeaways:
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The speaker is now able to make more decisions for himself after getting sober.
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He still makes mistakes but believes his average is getting better.
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Getting sober allows him to make choices for himself, including being loyal to his wife and family.
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He now decides when to go to bed, wake up, and how much time to devote to his art.
The role of songwriting in his sobriety is not yet discussed.
Speaker 1
Yes, all of it is still there. Itās all still there. That was me and this is me. Only now he gets to make more decisions, you know, rather than look up and think, how did I wind up here, you know? And I donāt always make the right decision, you know. I like to think my average is going up as time goes on. Iām just able to make the decision because I donāt have to choose to get another drink or to find whatever drug I was doing or to be around people because they have access to that or because they think itās okay for me to behave that way. Like I just simply get to make the choices for myself, like the choice to be loyal to my wife and to my family. I get to make that choice, you know. And what time I go to bed, what time I get up in the morning, you know, how much time I devote to my art every day, these are things that I get to decide for myself now. Yeah.
Speaker 2
Iād love to dig into the role song writing has played in your sobriety because, you know, it strikes me that as a songwriter, youāre kind of getting this constant pulse of where youāre at emotionally, right? Based on based on what youāre expressing in your music or what youāre finding yourself incapable of expressing, right? Youāre getting signals in both directions. And I think very few of us have a profession that serves as a mirror of sorts thatās constantly reflecting our emotional states back to us.-
The Role of Songwriting in Sobriety Key takeaways:
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Songwriting played a significant role in the speakerās sobriety journey.
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Songwriting allowed the speaker to have a constant reflection of their emotional state.
Before sobriety, the speaker wrote songs for an external audience, but after, they started writing songs about themselves and their own experiences.
Speaker 2
Iād love to dig into the role song writing has played in your sobriety because, you know, it strikes me that as a songwriter, youāre kind of getting this constant pulse of where youāre at emotionally, right? Based on based on what youāre expressing in your music or what youāre finding yourself incapable of expressing, right? Youāre getting signals in both directions. And I think very few of us have a profession that serves as a mirror of sorts thatās constantly reflecting our emotional states back to us.
Speaker 1
Well, there was a huge shift in the reason I wrote songs around that period of time. So when I got sober, I was very, you know, wrong, like, like emotionally sunburned, you know, up until that point, I had been writing for an external audience. I had really been writing songs to show people what my experience was. You know, this is my family. This is my father. This is the place where I grew up. But then I sort of, you know, unconsciously started writing songs, you know, where I was looking at myself and I was trying to make some sort of estimation of who I was. And if I was doing okay, yeah, and that shift happened right then. And you know, I hate the term like confessional songwriter because I think thatās very limiting and sort of derogatory. But I think I went from trying to communicate with-
Navigating Addiction and the Challenges of Life Key takeaways:
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The lyrics āIt gets easier, but it never gets easierā resonates with many people navigating lifeās challenges
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Villainizing past self and glorifying present self can stunt personal growth
Romanticizing addiction can hinder progress towards recovery
Speaker 5
Itās Easier, but It Never Gets Easier. I can say itās all worth it, but you wonāt believe me.
Speaker 4
Come down, you let the air swallow your pride.
Speaker 5
Youād rather keep it inside. It gets easier, but it never gets easier.
Speaker 2
First of all, I think that resonates with so many people, not even just those navigating addiction, but just navigating life and the challenges of life. I think that I found so much resonance in those lyrics. And, you know, I think this touches upon some of the themes that weāve already talked about, which is about, you know, villainizing past self and maybe glorifying present self because youāre trying to create as much distance as possible between those two, right?
Speaker 1
I mean, itās easy to tell yourself that, oh, I fixed it, you know, itās fixed. Itās solved to go on that kind of cruise control and think, well, I havenāt had a drink today, so I canāt hurt anybody too bad or I canāt do anything too terrible. And, you know, that can stunt your growth as an adult by saying this one big issue, like itās a version of romanticizing addiction and not necessarily in a positive way.-
Lessons Learned from Navigating Sobriety Key takeaways:
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The speaker learned a lot about himself during his journey to sobriety
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He realized how far he was from being a satisfied and contributing member of society
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The speaker had been stunting his own growth by avoiding learning about himself
The process of self-discovery was enjoyable for the speaker
Speaker 2
Having gone through, you know, a very arduous time when you were, you know, so often under the influence and then navigating sobriety, whatās the biggest thing you learned about yourself? Whatās the biggest thing that changed in terms of your self-perception, your understanding of who you are?
Speaker 1
When I got sober, I had no idea how far I was from actually being a satisfied and contributing member of society. I thought that, you know, Iāve got a job. I entertain people. Iām able to get in the van and ride to these shows and play these shit. People like me. Iām funny. I have enough money to pay my bills. You know, Iām doing great. Iām doing a good job. You know, but I had no clue how many millions of miles away I was from being a satisfied and self-actualized person, how much more I had to learn about myself because I had just been putting that off for so long and so aggressively stunting my own growth because it hurt so much to learn that I wasnāt perfect. And as a flip side to that, I didnāt realize how much I would really enjoy the process of learning those things. I mean, going to therapy, you know, and also just searching on my own, going into every situation, thinking, how do I handle this as somebody who knows myself and loves myself?-
The Process of Self-Discovery in Sobriety Key takeaways:
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The speaker was surprised by how much they had to learn about themselves after getting sober and realized they had been stunting their own growth.
Learning about oneself can be a challenging but rewarding process through therapy and self-reflection.
Speaker 1
When I got sober, I had no idea how far I was from actually being a satisfied and contributing member of society. I thought that, you know, Iāve got a job. I entertain people. Iām able to get in the van and ride to these shows and play these shit. People like me. Iām funny. I have enough money to pay my bills. You know, Iām doing great. Iām doing a good job. You know, but I had no clue how many millions of miles away I was from being a satisfied and self-actualized person, how much more I had to learn about myself because I had just been putting that off for so long and so aggressively stunting my own growth because it hurt so much to learn that I wasnāt perfect. And as a flip side to that, I didnāt realize how much I would really enjoy the process of learning those things. I mean, going to therapy, you know, and also just searching on my own, going into every situation, thinking, how do I handle this as somebody who knows myself and loves myself? And, you know, that process has been really challenging and the best possible way for me. And it makes me feel like at the end of every day, I have attempted to make myself better. And therefore, I have attempted to make the world better.
Speaker 2
Itās so interesting. What Iām hearing, and this is reminding me of something you said early in the interview, is that the very same personality trait that leads you to fear something that immediately want to do it, like you did with alcohol.-
The Slippery Edge: A Personal Account of Boundary Testing at Niagara Falls Key takeaways:
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Some people prefer to stay behind guard rails instead of going to the edge when visiting Niagara Falls
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Others prefer to test boundaries and go right up to the edge
Being an artist allows for healthy ways to test boundaries and reinterpret weaknesses as strengths
Speaker 2
And thereās some of us. I donāt even, for what itās worth, I donāt even go to the edge of the thing to look over. Iām like behind the guard rails, some, you know, 50 hundred feet away. All right. Thatās probably, thatās probably the healthiest way to handle the whole situation. Like somebody go take a picture of that and bring it back and show it to them. Iāll just, Iāll just Google it. Niagara Falls image.
Speaker 1
Okay, great. Done. Iāll get a t-shirt. I was. But some of us have to go right up to the edge, you know, and I am that person. I have to go right up to the edge. And Iāve always been that person and thatās just how I am. And so, you know, I just, I like to test all those boundaries. And you know, luckily there are healthy ways for an artist to do that. I mean, thatās probably why Iām an artist, you know, yeah, I love when, I love when we can reinterpret what we initially code in our lives as being liabilities and weaknesses.
Speaker 2
And then you start to think, well, what are the flip sides of it? Like what are the benefits? And it seems like in your case, Jason, that it would have been so easy to say, oh, I have this really frustrating habit where when I fear something, I jump right in and I canāt wait to just rid myself of that instinct. And yet here you are in a later stage of your life learning that thereās, thereās an upside and that when you channel some of those very same instincts in the right direction, you can, you can have beautiful changes that emerge, right? Yeah. Yeah. No, I love that.-
Transcript Excerpt: Song Lyrics, Followed by Podcast Outro Key takeaways:
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The podcast passage does not provide any discernable information or key takeaways.
The passage ends with a teaser for the next episode featuring a guest named Nora McInerney as the next host.
Speaker 4
Hard on the road Keeps a hand on the ground Iām not on the run, keeps my hand on the gun I canāt trust it more I was so sure of what I needed was more Try to shoot out the sun The days when we raged we flew off the page And the damage was done But I made it through Cause somebody knew I was meant someone Hey, thanks for listening Join me next week when I talk with Nora McInerney Host
