Personal revelation during a prayer The speaker struggled with feeling inadequate in their religious practices and often felt the need to repent for their shortcomings. During a personal prayer with the pastor, the speaker was surprised when the pastor asked if they were a musician, which was a significant part of their identity at the time.
Speaker 1
One time, I got up in the middle of the sermon to use the bathroom and the deacon glared at me like I just committed an act of vandalism. Every Sunday, I’d go to church, listen to the message and think to myself, okay, I can do this. I can read my Bible every day, pray more, be nice to my family and not do anything sinful for at least a week. It never worked out. The result was most of my prayer times consisted of repenting for what a terrible person I had been and promising God that from now on, I would do better. I’d never gotten a personal message from God before, but I imagined that if I ever did, it would go something like, Christina, I love you. But here are some things you need to work on. No one else was in line that day when I went up for prayer. It was just me and the pastor, a skinny Korean American guy in his late 30s with a kind round face. I thought he was going to ask me what I wanted prayer for, but instead he placed his hand on top of my head and closed his eyes. Then he opened his eyes and said, are you a musician? In fact, I was a singer-songwriter. It was a huge part of my identity at the time.
