- Episode AI notes
- Authenticity in values is crucial for personal growth and fulfillment. Communicating personal values openly leads to self-sufficiency and pride.
- Prioritizing work and family can be a balancing act. The speaker shared her experience as a divorced single mother who prioritized both her career and her identity beyond motherhood.
- Embracing change and curiosity are key for professional growth. Constant innovation, reskilling, and a drive for progress are essential for career development.
- Continuous learning and adaptation are vital in leadership. Staying informed, open to new skills, and embracing change are essential qualities for staying ahead in leadership roles.
- Embracing failure and vulnerability can lead to personal growth. Being fired is a common experience that can teach valuable lessons and lead to new opportunities.
Failure can be a fresh start. Setbacks can pave the way for growth and success, as individuals who have leveraged their failures have achieved greater things. Time 0:00:00
Authenticity in Values Summary: Acknowledging and embracing one’s own values and priorities is essential for personal growth and fulfillment. It is important to communicate these values openly to others instead of pretending to be someone you are not. Being true to oneself and living by personal values leads to a sense of self-sufficiency and pride, even if those values differ from societal norms or expectations.
Speaker 1
I’m a girl with no safety net and the chance to get out of anxiety and to get my life together and to, you know, you know, I, at the time the song that was really popular in the radio was the Shoes on my feet at bottom. And I wanted to be that. I wanted to have the shoes on my feet. I bought them. And I wanted to stop being scared. And I wanted to be taken seriously. And all of those things meant because a lot of people thought like what is she doing at business school? She was a prime reporter. And I had like a chip on my shoulder that was as big as a boulder. And I had real fears about being able to pay my rent. And I didn’t value fun and they could go sit on tax. I valued self sufficiency and my own sense of pride. And they could all take a hike. And I thought at that moment, why are their values better than my values? They’re not. I have different values. But my crime was not that I didn’t value fun. My crime was that I didn’t ever say, hey, I’m just not in a place. In my life right now, we’re going to parties works for me. I’ve got other values and priorities and bear with me as I sort of try to live out those values. My crime was pretending I was just like them and not wearing my values on my sweater so that they could see them. And instead, I just sort of went along and then didn’t do anything that you would expect somebody to do.Prioritizing Work and Family Summary: The speaker, as a divorced single mother, explained to her kids that while she loved them immensely and would do anything for them, her work was also crucial to her identity. She shared that she wanted to be somebody beyond being just a mother, and asked for understanding and help from her children with this decision. Her children trusted and supported her, understanding that her career was a significant part of who she was, even though her family and other mothers might have had different opinions about it.
Speaker 1
So I sat my kids down and I said, you know, oh, I’m happy, mommy is, you know, mommy’s unhappy all the time. And I think I know why. And I said, I have a theory that one day you’re going to grow up and you’re going to leave, but I’m going to still be here. And when you go, I want to be somebody. I was divorced single mother at the time and I said, I have this thing. I have this. I have my mind. I have a mind that feels like it’s on fire. I, you know, I like to think and I like to work and I like to run things and I love you. And if you needed to kid me, I’d give it to you. And I’d actually give my life for you, okay? But I want you to know that my work is incredibly important to me and I’m going to make a lot of decisions where it’s going to look like my work comes first. And what I ask of you is that you help me. And thank God they trusted me and they loved me and they all said, okay, I said, you know, we’re in this together. Help me. And I think they knew how much I loved them and I tried to be the very best mother I could be, but my career came first. And I had to find language to tell my kids that and my kids took it a lot better than my family did. And other mothers were not, you know, I didn’t have a lot of friends with the stay-at-home mothers.Embracing Change and Curiosity Summary: Experiencing financial instability in childhood fueled a constant drive for progress and prevented settling. The speaker’s interest in constant innovation and new music mirrors their approach in career progression, always seeking the next challenge and change. Their curiosity and ability to reskill in various areas were key factors in their professional growth, with a notable struggle being transitioning into a leadership role.
Speaker 1
And they’re like, shut up, mom. And I’m like, no, the gift I had of not knowing if we were going to be able to make rent, like, which was something that happened with my family. With my family, when I was growing up, my father had a interesting career. He had great years and he had terrible years. There were times he got fired along the way. There were some very tough years where my parents are. And if you are hungry and I’ve actually been physically hungry, okay, then, you know, then you never settle. And I was always feeling like, okay, what’s the next thing? What’s the next thing? I think one thing that’s kind of weird about me as a person is that I only, I’ve always been just only interested in new music. Like I don’t like somebody asked me through the day, what’s your favorite ear? And I was like, well, I like 90s grunge, but I mainly only listen to new music. And I’m always wanting to know like, what’s new? What’s new? What’s the next sound that’s coming? And I think that’s a little how I faced my careers. Like, okay, time to pivot, time to pivot. I also think I was really helped by curiosity. I’m just very curious. So like, I wanted to know how to be a consultant in heavy manufacturing. Okay, then I, the hardest thing for me to learn along the way, to be honest with you, was how to be a leader. Like I could reskill myself in a lot of things. Like I could learn how to do economic analysis. I could learn how to do regression analysis. I could learn how to do all sorts of different skills, partially just because genetically I’m grateful to my family.Continuous Learning and Adaptation Summary: The key insight is the importance of continuous learning and adaptation in leadership. The speaker emphasizes the significance of being open to learning new skills and staying ahead of the curve in order to avoid being left behind. They recount their experience of always seeking to understand new trends, technologies, or concepts, demonstrating a proactive approach to staying informed and evolving. The speaker’s attitude of curiosity and willingness to embrace change is highlighted as a key factor in their leadership journey.
Speaker 1
Okay, then I, the hardest thing for me to learn along the way, to be honest with you, was how to be a leader. Like I could reskill myself in a lot of things. Like I could learn how to do economic analysis. I could learn how to do regression analysis. I could learn how to do all sorts of different skills, partially just because genetically I’m grateful to my family. I have certain, you know, like I have my mind works just, I’m gay. I’ve got some brain power, I guess. And I, so that, but you could be really smart, not reskill. I just was always really scared of being left behind, really, really scared of being left behind. And so I was always like, what’s the next thing? What’s the next thing? And I remember like when the internet of everything came out, I don’t know if you remember this, like it was a very brief fad, each and of everything. And I remember turning to Jack and saying, what is the internet of everything? He said, I don’t know. And we at the same time said to each other, let’s find out. And so he had this too. It’s like we were like, we weren’t going to go, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, new thing. We’re going to be, let’s find the people who know, let’s find out today what this isn’t get ahead of it. That’s the way we work. And that’s, I feel that way about everything. I still feel that way. Like when my kids tell me something, well, most people are listening to the X or doing something, I’ll be like, what is it? I want to know. They’re like, they basically will try to tell me I’m too old to learn about it. I’m like, you’re wrong. And you know, I was this way when Twitter came out, like everybody was like, what is it?Embracing Failure and Vulnerability Summary: Experiencing failure, like being fired, is inevitable and can lead to personal growth. Being fired can be a valuable experience, demonstrating vulnerability and humanity. Despite the initial embarrassment, being fired is a common experience that can make others appreciate and like you more. Embracing failure can lead to realizing that life goes on, it gets better, and it does not define your worth or ability to find new opportunities.
Speaker 1
Well, you have no choice. Okay. And it gets easier because once it happens to you, once you’re fired one time, I think you might remember this. I asked every class I teach who would hear has been fired. And usually it’s not very many people because you’re all young, successful, bright and shiny people. And I say, that’s too bad. I hope you’ll get fired soon because once you’ve been fired once, you realize, oh, okay, I lived and it got better. And that wasn’t so bad. And it was embarrassing, but everybody’s been fired and it doesn’t make people like you less. It makes them like you more because you have suddenly proved your vulnerability and humanity. I was fired from HBR. Actually the day I was fired because I ran off my husband in a particularly, in a way that was, I mean, if this happened in this day and age, it would have been a blip. They would have been, oh, look. But in those days, it really mattered that I met him on the job. And anyway, and I got, I can’t. And I actually said to Jack the next day, sobbing hysterically because I had loved my job so much and I had been so embarrassed by the way they did it. And I was sobbing and sobbing. And I said, I’ll never work again. And he literally like burst into laughter in my face and said, what are you talking about? I said, I’ll never get another job. He said, get over yourself. I mean, kind of the snap out of it. And he was like, what’s wrong with you?Embrace Failure as a Fresh Start Summary: Facing professional or personal setbacks can lead to new opportunities for growth and success. Getting fired doesn’t have to be the end; it can be a chance to start anew and potentially achieve greater things. Learning from failures and starting over is a common path to success, as experienced by individuals who have leveraged their setbacks to establish thriving businesses and careers.
Speaker 1
So, you know, five days later, Oprah’s magazine called me and I was working because they asked me to come work there. I mean, the editor of the Oprah magazine called and said, how would you like to come work here? And I was like, what? And he was like laughing in the corner saying, oh, I hope those five days were survivable for you, Susie. You know, and I think you learned. You learn. And it’s not so bad. And I, my best friend actually came to speak to one of my classes, DMS, this. And I had her come specifically because I had been running on the treadmill and the phone kept on ringing and ringing and ringing and ringing. And finally, I got off because somebody needed me and I picked up a phone and she sobbing, saying they fired me, they fired me. She’d been a big account executive and a big firm. I had been telling her for two years, she was about to be fired because she made a huge amount of money but didn’t bring in enough clients. And she was like, fine, me. And I said to her, this is going to be the best day of your life. And it was because she ended up starting her own business that now makes millions and millions of dollars and she had to pick herself up and just get going. And she now tells people the same thing I do is please go get yourself fired so that you understand that it’s not the end of the world. It’s much easier to be professionally brought to zero and start again because so many people have done it. But when you’re personally brought to zero, which I’ve also very unfortunately had the experience of, that’s a bit harder. So because it’s not the best day of your life.
